SMUTSHOTS HOORAY
by Too Many Fandoms For One URL
Summary: Literally just a bunch of smutty oneshots for Homestuck.


**My first legitimate thing! Hooray! Literally just DaveKat with a few feels but mostly pwp so enjoy! There will be more smutty things in the future so yes. u I'm daring because I wrote this in the presence of my lusus. ~Dolphin**

**disclaimer: I am not Hussie, since I last checked.**

"Strider," I address the annoying fuckface in front of me who clearly doesn't know the goddamn meaning of personal space. The walking entity of pure idiocy was right in my face, likely just to piss me off.

"Vantass," he replied in that stupid monotone voice of his, face never changing. Speaking of faces, ours were way to close to have comfort of any sort. I was close enough to lean forward an inch or two and- nope. Not going there; not with him. Never.

I could feel my face heating up, turning red from my mutant blood filling my face. "Fuck you," I managed to stutter out, glaring as menacingly as I could; which wasn't really that menacing, considering how flustered I was.

And that fucker grinned so wide I was afraid his face might break. "Gladly, Kitkat," and before I could even reply, his lips were on mine. They were soft and slightly chapped and I involuntarily moaned into the kiss, feeling him smile lightly against my lips.

Dave's hands suddenly moved up, groping at my horns. I jumped, startled at the contact, before feeling immense pleasure at the contact of skin on horns. The sparks of the touches were seemingly wired straight to my brain and I let out a loud moan into the kiss, allowing the other to slip his tongue into my mouth.

Our tongues moved together, slipping and sliding. It was an odd feeling, but fuck if it didn't feel absolutely amazing at the same time. My head was spinning, the heat of Dave's body pressed against mine coursing through my being and going straight down into my abdomen. Just then, it seemed, I realized exactly what was happening and my eyes shot open. When had they closed? I didn't know, and I didn't care. I put my hands on his chest, shoving him away harshly.

Dave had a hurt look on his face and I scooted away from him, curling in on myself. "What the fuck," it wasn't even a question, just a statement of some sort.

He was silent for a moment, looking down in shame, before speaking up again. "Sorry," his voice was barely above a whisper and not his usual 'ironic monotone' as he put it so eloquently. I was shocked; he looked so vulnerable and sad.

"Why, though?" I was confused. There was no way that Dave Strider, the Dave Strider, could be flushed for me, Karkat Vantas, of all people and trolls alike.

"Dumbass, I like you. Or I'm flushed, whatever your weird alien terminology is. I feel redder than your blood color."

Well. I certainly was not expecting that kind of confession. Or a confession at all, really. "Strider," you choked out. You really hoped this wasn't a joke. "You better not be fucking joking or I swear to god that I will rip out your fucking arteries and shove them down your protein chute, watching you choke on your own blood. Because Jesus Christ, I'm flushed for you too, asshole."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why would I joke about shit like that?" Dave moved back over to me, our faces close once more, and he pecked me on the lips sweetly before gently gripping me by the hips and pulling me into his lap. His hands moved down to my ass, squeezing lightly and I gasped sharply in surprise, groaning. His lips attached to my neck, kissing and sucking, small hickeys now littering my throat. Well, I was going to have to wear a turtleneck tomorrow.

Suddenly, he pulled away. "Dave?"

"I need to tell you something, and I really don't want you freaking out, please," he sounded urgent, fear clear in his voice. I was slightly concerned for his health from the way he said those words. I nodded and looked at him intently, showing him that I was listening. He took a deep breath. "Okay, so like... I'm a transsexual. Meaning that I was- am biologically female. But I'm trapped in the wrong body, and I wasn't able to get the operation before the game. You already know about human anatomy, don't you?" I nodded, absorbing the information.

He took another breath, smiling at me. It was a genuine smile. He knew I didn't quite understand, but he had explained it as best as he could.

"That doesn't change my feelings, just so you know, asswipe."

His smile widened and he leaned forward, peppering kisses all over my face and murmuring little 'I love yous'. Dave pulled back again, playing with the hem of my shirt before lifting it up slightly and looking up at me for permission. I nodded and he immediately pulled the shirt up and over my head, throwing it somewhere carelessly. He stared at my body in what could only be described as awe.

"Damn, Karkles," he breathed. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

My face grew extremely hot and I went to hide my face in my shirt, only to remember that oh, it's not there.

"Don't try to hide, Kitkat," he gripped my wrists, pulling me forward and kissing the tip of my nose sweetly. Dave moved down my chest, kissing all along it and leaving all the more hickeys.

A thought crossed my mind and I yanked a hand from his grip, moving it to his face and pulling the shades off of his face. I carefully folded them and put them off to the side. His eyes were closed in bliss, fluttering occasionally as he licked and sucked down my chest. His eyes opened again, looking up at me with large crimson orbs. I gasped softly.

"They're really pretty," my voice was hoarse. It was true; his eyes were large and he had long, feminine lashes, not to mention the beautiful shade of red.

He smiled softly, and realization seemed to creep upon him, the smile turning into a devious grin. What was he planning? I wondered this briefly and suddenly felt his hands move to my grub scars. I gasped sharply and it quickly faded to a moan as he massaged the raised bumps of sensitive flesh on my sides.

"You like that, hmm?" I could only nod, panting heavily and unable to speak because of the pleasure coursing through my body.

He pulled away to pull off his own shirt, tossing that aside as well. I looked questioningly at the ace bandages wrapped around his chest and he sighed. "They cover up my boobs; you know that guys aren't supposed to have those."

I nodded in understanding. I wouldn't make him take the wrapping off if he wasn't comfortable with it. Dave moved his hands down to my hips, his fingers at the waistband of my too-big jeans, silently asking permission. I only nodded again, giving that permission. He slowly slipped my pants down off of my hips and I lifted them slightly to help him pull them down.

Before I knew it, they were gone and flung across the room to join the other clothes. He softly pushed on my chest, making me flop down on my back on the couch we were on. Dave moved back, making quick work of his own jeans.

"I'm more or less prepared for your alien anatomy, but I sure as hell see something moving in between those sexy legs of yours," he leaned down, kissing my chest and pulled down my boxers in a swift movement, leaving me completely exposed. I fought the overwhelming urge to cover myself with something, anything that would leave me less open.

My bulge was wriggling around desperately, searching for something to touch. He looked shocked for a brief moment before grinning and dipping his head to face the tentacle-like appendage. I gulped in anticipation and oh god, his mouth was on my bulge. I let out a loud moan as he licked at the slick, writhing appendage. I looked down at him with half lidded eyes, his closed as he ran his tongue over my bulge like it was a piece of candy. His face was messy with the red genetic material and oh fuck, was that hot.

I groaned, my nook needy for attention and I hoped he would get the idea. He must have, because all of a sudden, I felt fingers poking around at the entrance, circling and tracing around the lips. The feeling was amazing and my eyes slid shut again as I let out a strangled noise at the intense pleasuring I was receiving. I wouldn't admit to making these noises later, of course; I knew he would tease me about it afterwards.

He lifted his head, gazing at me and sat back up to peel off his own boxers, dropping them on the floor with everything else. "You look so hot, Karkitty, all wet and dripping for me."

Oh god, his dirty talk only turned me on even more. My bulge thrashed about for more attention, desperate and needy. Dave brushed a single finger against it and then moved up to straddle my waist, kissing me softly and looking me in the eyes. "Karkat?"

"Hm?" I gathered my thoughts enough to realize he was addressing me.

"C-can you please," he gulped nervously, as if not knowing whether or not to ask. "Can you fuck me?"

This was a slight shock for me, but I nodded nonetheless. The boy moved away and lie back on the couch, allowing me to crawl over him. I tentatively ran my fingers along his skin, going lower and lower until I reached just above his nook. He nodded his approval and I slipped a finger inside of him, massaging his inner walls. He let out a moan, bucking his hips against my finger.

I had no idea what I was doing, but by his reactions, I assumed I was doing something right. I pulled my finger out slightly and added another finger, plunging them back in and making a scissoring motion with the two fingers. He was a moaning, shaking mess just from those two fingers. I pulled them out completely and he whined at the loss.

The emptiness he was feeling didn't last long, though as I lined my bulge with the entrance and slowly eased in the tapered tip. His shaking intensified and I ran my clean hand down his face to comfort him as I pushed in further still, stretching him as my bulge widened out.

"I'm not hurting you am I? I swear, if I'm hurting you you had better fucking tell me because I care a lot and I do-" he cut me off by pressing his finger to my lips to silence me.

"I'm fine, Kitkat. Keep go-oing, please," he groaned.

I dove deeper until I was settled fully inside of him, waiting for his word as he adjusted to the feeling.

"Ah, m-move," that was all I needed to hear and I pulled out slightly before pushing back in, creating a slow, steady pace with my thrusts. Dave bucked his hips with urgency, trying to get me to go faster.

I complied, thrusting faster, the only sounds in the otherwise empty room being the sounds of skin slapping against skin and pleasured moaning. My thrusting sped up gradually until we were both rocking on the couch, shaking and groaning loudly.

"F-fuuucck, K-kar, I'm really close," Dave stumbled over his words, struggling to speak and I only nodded, my steady pace becoming harsh and erratic. I was close to reaching my own peak as well.

"Oh, sh-shit, Dave... W-we need a bucket," he shook his head.

"T-too close," he moaned out. I looked at him in understanding and agreement, leaning forward and kissing him deeply. I could feel my climax pooling and I couldn't hold back any longer, releasing my genetic material inside of him. He wasn't far behind, my climax setting him off and he came, clenching around me as he rode out his orgasm.

I waited until we both came down from our high, pulling out of him and smiling lightly. He sat up, eyes closed and he slumped against me.

"Dave, I know you're tired and shit, but I am not lying in our sweat and genetic material. Come on, we have to fucking shower."

He nodded sleepily, murmuring something I couldn't quite hear and I stood up, pulling him up with me. I looked down to see his thighs, dripping and painted with my candy red material. Dave was way too sexy for his own good, Jesus Christ.

We were able to stumble to the ablution block and I turned on the water, pulling us both into the porcelain tub and helping him wash off. Dave was having troubles even fucking functioning, it seemed. I finished washing the both of us and dragged him out of the tub, toweling off.

I picked up the practically dead Dave, carrying him(with some trouble) to my respite block and tossed him on my bed. I crawled in with him and curled up against the other, purring contentedly, something I hadn't been in a while. 'It's a good feeling; I like it,' I decided happily as I drifted off to sleep.

**Well, people, that was it! Expect more in the future! ~Dolphin out *abscond***


End file.
